What to Do When You Just Want to Say the F Word to Dating!

Have you lost all hope of meeting the One? Tired of dating?

You’re tired of guys behaving badly, of guys who don’t look like their profile photo, of disappointing dates, of the ones who disappear on you.

You may be resigning yourself to singledom. You figure you’ll just put more focus on your work. On the upside, you have total freedom to do what you want. And you’ll never have to share a closet.

You’re thinking, “I don’t NEED a man. I’ll be fine on my own.”

I get it.

And while I believe you can create an amazing life without a beloved partner, I know that deep down… you really do want to be with someone.

So here’s what you need to do when you just want to throw in the towel on love and F#&k dating.

Make it all fun. Often when we feel stuck in an area, it’s because we’re taking things too seriously and getting attached to an outcome. If you went into every date hoping that man was your potential husband, you’re bound to feel disappointed if he doesn’t measure up to that picture. And that adds tons more pressure to the date. Just relax and enjoy the process. Apply this to all areas of your life. The more fun you have in general and the more you do things to please yourself, the more ideal men you’ll attract. So, choose something right now that you know would make you ecstatic and do it. Maybe it’s taking that trip you’ve been dreaming about, treating yourself to a massage, or splurging on a new pair of shoes.

COMMIT to the process. The reality is you have to stay in the game. You cannot go on an occasional date and say you’re really trying. I often say that women should treat dating like they would a job search. If you wanted a new job, you’d keep going to interviews and keep networking until you found the right one. Some interviews might go horribly, some positions just wouldn’t be a good fit. You expect not to get every job. But you’d keep at it knowing there’s no ifs, ands, or buts. You will find a new job.

And if it wasn’t working out, you’d ask for help. You’d enlist a mentor or friend for help with your interviewing skills and resume, which brings me to the next one….

Consider your blind spots. It’s often said that you can’t solve a problem with the same kind of thinking used to create it. And it’s true! The reality is, you’re a smart, successful woman who gets results in your life. If you knew there was something you could do to get off this merry-go-round of dead-end dating and meet your true equal, you’d do it. So, I invite you to consider that there may be something you don’t know that you don’t know and that something is keeping you from the One. We all have blind spots which keep us stuck. The way to get around them is to get support from someone who has some expertise. That person could be a friend or mentor who was once in your shoes and is now happily married. I also want to help you in a more hands-on way. That’s why I’m excited to offer you a complimentary private session with one of my expert Love Mentor dating and relationship coaches. For over 40 minutes, you’ll do one-on-one work with your Love Mentor® to break free of what’s holing you back from the One. Go here for details.

Stay open to the possibilities. Remember that love often comes in surprise packages. Often times, when dating isn’t working, it’s because you’re stuck in a pattern dating a certain type. If you’re tired of dating guys who make their work way bigger priority, try dating someone who doesn’t dream of being the next Warren Buffet. If the artsy guys keep flaking, try dating someone who has a more cerebral job. if you keep ending up with guys who freak out about intimacy, try dating someone who is a bit more available and affectionate.

Bottom line: Don’t quit before the Miracle of love finds you!

About Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love”, and of the best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.

Published at Mon, 28 Aug 2017 21:00:32 +0000

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